Sunday, 9 November 2014

Something Old, Something New, Something Blue

Something Old, Something New, Something Blue.
The year is 1790 and a now older and wiser Jamie, still with his rugged good looks and now grey shaggy hair, is still with the Clan McLaren.
 In 1746 he evaded forced transportation by  escaping in a ship bound for The Carolina's, he settled in North Carolina in 1747 where he lost his wife Arabella and young Bairn Calum when Spanish privateers invaded and occupied the town of  Beaufort, Jamie was among 120 locals who aided the militia, until they drove the invaders away.
Many of the Spaniards died that day.
Missing his beloved highlands Jamie returned in 1750 and rejoined the Clan.
Jamie has no memory of his time with The Doctor, he has only the memory of their meeting but none of the adventures, this was the result of the mind wipe he received at the hands of The Time Lords. so when he later names his dog it's not because he knew anyone in his past by that name, he just liked the name that popped in to his head.
he lives alone because he could not get over the loss of his wife and baby son, who he swore to protect till the end of his days.

The call of a rook greeted the old Highlander, 'Aye it tis brisk thanks fur tellin me.'
The ground under foot was hard as concrete. The walk down to the burn had a frost coating due the freezing fog clinging to the land like an unwelcome chilly carpet.

Jamie crossed the fallen tree, and now on the other side followed the stream down  to the falls.

The biting cold didn’t seem to bother the kilted highlander; he wasn’t the brash fool hardy man of youth, now in his fifties he tended to think before running into trouble,.
Yesterday Jamie attended the funeral of Flora MacDonald and his head was pounding, ‘Och ma head feels like a redcoat ben using it for bayonet practise.’ He said to himself as he saw Zoe ahead.

‘Ah there ya are ya wee troublesome beastie.’ The greying Border collie paid him no attention other then to raise an ear. as she stared intently at the lamb caught in the branch of another fallen tree in the burn itself, which luckily for the lamb prevented it going over the falls, but it was only a temporary safety as the added weight would eventually send the tree over.

‘Good girl Zoe.’ Jamie praised as he patted and ruffled her ears.

The lamb was reluctant to be rescued but rescued it was and Jamie with booted foot forced the branch over the falls.
‘There on ya way.’ He told the lamb that stood on shaking legs… after a while, back to it’s senses the lamb fled up the hill and was gone.

The remainder of Jamie’s clan had been force off the highlands they held for centuries by the English laws that made the removal of its former owners and tenants easy.
Now on Skye it was a harsh but bearable existence.

‘Right now Zoe back tee the house for ya,’ and with that off she went, ‘oh, aye! Ya nay bother tee wait fur me.’

Jamie had no idea why he named his dog Zoe…. But her assured awareness of her surroundings reminded him of something and the name popped into his head.
The old collie was waiting at the cottage, this was Jamie's home, the grey stone walls came from a viking settlement and built into a single rectangle and pitched with a low rear wall, the upper capping of these walls were made of turf which sealed the thatched roof. a chimney stack rose a little above the highest wall, and the only window was closed with wooden shutters.
Inside once entering through the split oak door (split so the top could be opened to help cool the home in summer) there is a crude sideboard to the right of the entrance, and a rickety old table with one leg made from a branch Jamie shaped to fit. the two wooden chairs were also repaired in the same manner. a low wooden bed with its straw mattress completed the meagre interior.
Like all homes of this type the fireplace was a source of heat and cooking, and a large iron pot was hooked to a metal bar set into the chimney flue and to the side of the fireplace lay verious other metal frames and trays.

The day’s chores done Jamie sat by the log fire, his head was still being pounded with hammers, it’s said the 3,000 who attended Flora’s funeral consumed 300 gallons of whisky, but Jamie convinced himself that some of the others drank some too.

‘Zoe!’ the old Collie looked up it’s snout still to the floor, ‘you brave girl, you look after the house I’m going to the Inn there’s another dog I need ta see ta.’

On the way down the twisting track the fog moved in yet again and the white icy spines were already glistening in the full moon sky from the rough grass and hedges.

The still cold air carried laughter across the square and the lantern lit Inn held the promise of warm welcome.

Entering the stench of its occupants and booze filled his nostrils… ‘Ah the smell of good company, Maggie! A tankard of Ale, bread and cheese and I’ll take any old bone ya have for Zoe.’ ‘Aye Jamie sit ya sell doon, I’ll bring it ovha.’

The source of the laughter was easy to find as a grandly dressed gentleman with his flagon of ale held high continued unabated by this new Inn dweller with his story.

‘Oh…and then the wee lass said I like your whistle as she leapt into my arms from the carriage!’ the story teller went on, with his eager listening crowd bursting into uncontrolled laughter, which was further added to by Duncan McNish spitting his mouthful of ale over some of the surrounding throng.

It was all taken in good spirits and no one complained at the unexpected shower.

‘You had to be there really.’ The stranger said smiling
Walking over Jamie agreed ‘I guess that’s true enough.’
‘Jamie!’  McNish’s sister Mary burst out, ‘this fellow knows yoo and wants a  ward wee ya.’
‘Do yu now, I’ve never seen yu before, wha ya wan with mee?’ he answered looking up at this tall strange man with suspicion.

‘Aye, true enough Jamie,’ Hamish, a large brute of a man said ‘he knows yoo sure, I told him yoo’d be here shortly…..very shortly.”  The crowed burst into laughter again.

Jamie walked up to Hamish with an icy stare ‘I’ll look tall enough when ya on the floor looking up!’
‘that’s as mabee but ya have ta get me too the floor thrist!’

Now they both looked at each other through slit eyes,
Jamie grabbed Hamish hugged him then mockingly punched his stomach.

The old friends were still mock fighting when the stranger shouted ‘Jamie my boy, we need to talk!’
‘That’s Mr McCrimmon tee yoo and I don’t see any reason to be chatty wiff yoo!’
‘ah…hmm yes I see, well lets share a drink and we can talk later…’
‘There will be nay sharin yoo get ya own drink.’ Jamie corrected.

Everyone round the table budged up to allow Jamie a sit,  and the fun and laughter carried on.

Maggie had brought Jamie’s order and he ate and drank merrily with his friends, his head no longer thumping.

As the merriment faded and the crowed thinned Jamie feeling slightly light headed rose to leave.

‘May I join you as you walk Jaa… Mr McCrimmon?’ the stranger who the throng called John enquired.
‘Aye… lets hear what ya have ta say hey!’
The cold air felt refreshing and the smell of the Inn wafted away in the darkness as the two men walked
‘Jamie… you don’t mind if I call you Jamie do you?’
‘Its fine, now get on wiff it.’ And the Stranger called John removed a dark pebble from his jacket.
‘I believe this may help.’ And before Jamie could react he felt the cold stone on his temple and his legs collapsed under him, and the darkness consumed him.

Jamie awoke on the floor of the Tardis with Zoe laying over his legs….
Groggily raising his upper torso he looked into Zoe’s worried eyes and said ‘Hey Zoe What was I drinking?’

Zoe had no answer.

From behind and setting the controls on his console the Doctor chirped ‘Oh it wasn’t the Drink, it was me.’ Seeing Jamie’s reaction he added ‘Oh yes the Silly Dog  insisted in joining us… she’s quite annoying isn’t she. It reminds me of some one… Did you name her Zoe? Oh that’s funny she would hate that.’

Jamie was still looking wide eyed at his surroundings, ‘Who Zoe? Why wood she hate that? am I in a church?’

Rising his significant eyebrows The Doctor laughed ‘A Church? Well some may think of it that way, I don’t, but then I live here, do I look like a nun to you?’ The stranger joked as he moved swiftly round the console, twiddling this. Pushing that and avoiding pushing another, ‘it was another Zoe I was thinking of.’

‘Is it coming back to you yet Jamie?’ he enquired only pulsing for a second before returning to his endeavours.
‘Is what coming back?’
‘hmm… well give it Time I have plenty. I used a Gallifreyan memory stone on you, it should restore the locked memories.’ He laughed, ‘take a drink, it’s beside you in your favourite mug.’

‘Ma fav….who are yoo?’

‘Oh Good Grief! Jamie … well I’m The Doctor of course, who else would be running round in circles when a sensible pilot would put all instrumentation within easy reach?... I mean…really I’m insulted you’ve forgotten, it can’t be more then 40 years in Earth time, that’s a mere blink in time to a Time Lord!’

‘Doctor!’ something stirred in Jamie's mind, ‘But your not The Doctor, and I know he wouldn’t like all the fussiness of your home, he liked clean and simple… and he never had grey hair!’

‘Grey what?’ The Doctor alarmed walked over to the startled Companion, ‘Have you looked at yourself lately, and you have the nerve to mention MY grey hair… besides it’s not grey it’s pal black, I think it makes me look very distinctive… this is a face of a man in charge! Oh and haven't you noticed, now your memory has returned your accent isn't as broad as it was?’

Jamie looked hard at this man, with the thin and sharp nosed face and the wavy grey speckled hair and his slim frame.

‘Aye, well maybee, and yes I have grown a little older but I still know The Doctor When I see him.’
‘Do you remember Polly? Or Ben?’
‘Polly….hmm ahh aye  Polly…oh and Ben yes…didn’t they get married or something?

‘Why are you asking me if I’m not The Doctor?' he said bemused,  'Well I can see your confused, that can’t be easy I know so I’ll tell you, Ben proposed to Polly on the top of the Post Office tower… but that’s not important, what’s important is what they told you about their Doctor?’

‘Oh Aye the grumpy old Doctor with grey hair… so that’s you?’

‘No…No! that's most definitely not me! Oh the cheek of you, I even have a Scottish accent! I mean… really! grumpy! me? I’m charming, unless you’re a compete idiot as most people are but no I’m very diplomatic, in my way, given time.’

‘Oh aye very posh Scottish, I noticed the soft hands John, your nay worker... Oh NO! I named my Zoe...Zoe!’

‘How we ever got on amazes me Jamie, your very blunt aren’t you…' he gave Jamie a smile, 'hmm actually I quite like that, I like that a lot, I really do! oh how I've missed such honesty... well anyway, I’m not old Grumpy, I’ve Regenerated 11 times since we knew each other...As for naming your Dog Zoe! well I admit I did find that amusing, but what it also demonstrates Jamie, is that wonderful stubborn streak of yours; my people wiped your mind and you defied them by holding on to something you were not willing to forget! do you see? that in itself shows a remarkable mind!’ he punched Jamie’s shoulder, ‘Jamie look into my eyes…. It’s me, The Doctor!’

Jamie looked hard and he saw a familiar twinkle of mischief in the eyes…
‘Ok Fine… you’re The Doctor so what do you want of me? As you hinted I’m old.’
‘Well here’s the Thing Jamie….’

And back in England in 1974 talk of strange hairy men wondering the underground is headline news, along with a spate of bank robberies.

The Doctor explained as best he could that he believed someone had somehow found the Yeti controller he had built, and at least one Yeti was being used in someway to break into the cities banks.
‘But why go to all that trouble Doctor? Surely these criminals are capable of breaking into Banks if that’s their intention.’

The Doctor stroking his chin as he did when deep in thought said ‘I agree Jamie, these people must have a love of the dramatic, but think about it, if you were guarding any of these Banks would you stand up to a Yeti? They are pretty much unstoppable once set to a task.’
‘Aye that they are, so you think there’s something else going on then just the Yeti control?
‘Yes I do…something isn’t right here, and why aren’t Unit getting involved?’
‘That’s easy Doctor.’
‘Is it?’ The Doctor asked, and his eyebrows rose in the way they did when he’s thinking what do YOU know?

‘Unit does nay exist until 1975 when we met the Brigadier during the Cybermen invasion.’
The Doctor banged the side of his temple with the palm of his hand ‘Of course, yes, yes, Yes! Jamie… well done. That’s marvellous, so at this moment in time Unit as we know it is on the brink of being formed which means all the busy bodies will be knee deep in paper work…’

‘If you say so Doctor.’ Jamie said pleased with himself.
‘I do say so Jamie.’
‘You realise it’s our responsibility to go back and sort this mess out.’ he pointed out.
‘AYE! Or you would nay be here!’

Jamie cupping his favourite mug in both hands drank the hot chocolate The Doctor provided, while the Doctor paced back and forth mumbling ideas to himself.

Returning to Jamie’s side, who is now standing The Doctor reaches for Jamie’s mug ‘Do you Mind?’
‘No Doctor help your sell.’
He did and sipped the Chocolate and hummed, ‘hummm oh that’s delicious isn’t it.’ He said handing the smiling Jamie back his mug.
‘Jamie? ... Do you think you can remember where we left those controls?’

‘It’s been a long while Doctor, but I guess when we get there it will come back to me.’
‘Let’s hope it does eh?’
Back at the controls The Doctor announces ‘Well here we go Jamie hold on…’

‘Och as if I would  nay remember your rough landings!’
The Doctor gave Jamie a hurt look… ‘This is a finely tuned machine Jamie; it’s not as unreliable as when you were here before.’

 The deep thump of the Tardis meant they had landed and Jamie had to eat his words at this rather smooth landing.
Speaking loudly due to the distance between the two travellers The Doctor said ‘I’ve put us down in a street just up from the tunnels; we will need to find that old maintenance entrance.

Zoe was noisily lapping water from a dish.
‘Yes Jamie what is it?’
‘Did you drop in on Zoe before seeing me?’
‘You’re Dog?’
‘No… you know who I mean…. Well did ya or did nay ya.’

In an attempt to be diplomatic, as The Doctor had the thought in the back of his Mind, that Jamie could quite possibly take offence to him going to see Zoe before seeing him.
‘Well..ah..’ The Doctor bent over the control pretending something needed his attention, giving himself more time to think, ‘I may have,’ he was now embarrassed and  thought it best to just blurt it out, ‘Yes I did Jamie, she wasn’t much older then when we saw her last, but before you say anything The Tardis chooses the best time for me to visit old friends… she’s a cantankerous old thing really.’
‘And?’ Jamie asked
‘Oh she’s fine, she has three children named after her favourite mathematicians.’
‘Really? So what are their names?’ Jamie said, his curiosity was getting the better of him.
‘Oh… I think it was 1…2…3!’ with a blasting laugh he chortled ‘I made a funny…..I can do funny!’

‘So you don’t know then.’ Jamie said disappointed.
Indignantly the Doctor bellowed ‘Well I don’t know do I, I wasn’t going to ask questions or she would start asking how we got off the Wheel or where was that charming Scottish laddie…’

‘But You’ve changed, she would nay recognise you.’ Added Jamie.

‘Well that’s even worse isn’t it… a complete stranger asking questions.’
‘Oh aye, I did nay think.’
Softening to Jamie’s demeanour the Doctor replied, ‘look Jamie I miss her too… She’s a mother now and she’ll not want to sail the Universe with two old men with nothing better to do now would she?’

Looking down at Zoe his dog Jamie had to admit The Doctor was right, he contented himself that she was fine and well with  a family. ‘No…no she would nay.’
‘Well Jamie we best get at it, as they say…who ever they are.’ The Doctor opened the doors and the sound of the city met them as they exited the Tardis. ‘Remember where we Parked Jamie.’ And off they went.
Studying the people as The Doctor took in these familiar surroundings, he noted  Flares were evidently the trousers of choice, and the rasping legs of these trousers made it impossible to creep up on anyone, 'this is why I will  never be seen dead in Flares Jamie, there's so subtlety.'.
Jamie was also taking in the surroundings and his jaw dropped at the sight of a young woman sporting the new Hot Pants look, The Doctor amused said. 'eyes back in your head Jamie will will be needing them.'
Embarrassed at being caught staring Jamie just blurted out.. 'Oh...Aye...eyes, got it.'

It didn’t take  them long to find the old maintenance doors. And Jamie and the Doctor both shared the memory of a Yeti waiting beyond.

The sonic screwdriver did it’s work and the old lock and chains fell to the ground with a deafening clang!.
‘Best not tell them we’re coming hey?’ Jamie informed The Doctor.
‘Alright mister sarcy lets go…follow me.’
Both men had to put their combined weight to that large handle to slide the doors open and to close them as they entered unaware they had been spotted.

They were barely a third of the way down the stairs when they heard ‘Oi! You two… what are you up to!’
‘Oh Sugar me this isn’t going well is it Jamie.’

They both stopped to face the shouting man, and it was only now, they saw the small door set in the left of larger doors.
'Oops I never saw that!' The Time Lord said flummoxed.
'Your telling me,' Jamie said towards The Doctor, while taking in this hulking great stack of a man towering above them, and thinking how much easier it would have been to enter through the same smaller door he had used.
‘Right you two have made a Big! mistake.’
‘Have we? is this not the Piccadilly line then?’ The Doctor intoned with as much innocence as he could muster at short notice.
‘Oh comedians are we?’
‘Yes’ confessed the Doctor as Jamie and he shrugged wide eyed at each other, ‘I’m Torvill and he’s Dean.’
‘Who are they?’ Jamie asked under his breath, ‘no idea,’ The Doctor whispered back from the corner of his mouth, ‘but they sound like comedians.’ And Jamie kicked his ankle as he would any of his friends who was acting the fool.

‘Steady Jamie he’s getting closer... Oh stuff this for a game of monkeys.’ The Doctor exclaimed and he removed the sonic for his pocket set it to oscillation and aimed… the man in the  black suit grabbed his head as if it were about to explode and collapsed, falling another six steps.
‘Well that will hurt in the morning,’ The Doctor joked to Jamie.

‘Did ya Kill hem? Jamie said shocked at the Doctor using a weapon.
‘No of course not Jamie.’ He chided, ‘I just wobbled his brain a little… he’s fine…he may wake with a wibble,’ he chuckled, then tutting Jamie’s stern look, 'am I the only one who gets that  reference? You know? WIBBLE WOBBLE WIBBLE WOBBLE JELLY ON A PLATE!' And while reciting this rhyme The Doctor wiggled his hips and waved his hands from side to side on a up and down motion. 'oh.. he’ll  be right as rain in an hour or so.’

‘Well we best hide him somewhere,’ Jamie said taking the mans arms and indicating the Doctor should take the legs.
‘Fine!’ The Doctor huffed, ‘Good Grief What has this man been eating he weighs a ton!’
‘Stop flapping and get a move on, there’s nay telling how long we have before someone else shows.’
‘Who died and put you in charge?’ The Doctor Huffed again
‘You Did remember?’
'Oh  I’d laugh but I have the elephant man to move here.’ he sulked.
Jamie annoyed said ‘come on move!’
The Doctor, ANNOYED!  then dropped the legs... so Jamie dropped the arms, as they both attempted to stared  each other out, but one look at the Doctor’s face and Jamie burst out laughing.
Then the Doctor started laughing too, ‘this is like the old days  isn’t it Jamie.’
With a huge grin Jamie claimed ‘Aye Doctor it is.'
The man now unsupported flip flopped and slid down the remaining stairs and landed with a almighty thud!, the comatose  man let out a groan.
Not daring to look round, Jamie still facing the Doctor had a look of bemused wonder, but when it came to looks of bemused wonder, The Doctors eyebrows gave him a distinct advantage as he first looked at Jamie then at the body slumped on the last step and the base of the stairs.
'Well now.'  He declared, clapping his hands, while stepping down passed Jamie, and simultaneously patting  his companion on the shoulder, saying in praise, 'I'd say that's the hard part done Jamie, well done!  now let's get him through those doors.' And Jamie saw as he followed The Doctors descent he was gesturing to the double doors to the right of the last step. 

Beyond the doors lay the abandoned lavatory's, so using the male toilets they managed to prop up the unconscious thug in one of the three cubicles.
'What now?' whispered Jamie.
The Doctor spun hand on hips snapped 'Really?'
'Och...fine, so we go find who's using the Yeti.'
'Well done... now let's not dilly dally.'
As Jamie was almost over threshold of the Double Doors a Shout of  'Where's Frank? and who the hell are you?'
The Doctor hung back out of sight and whispered 'tell him Frank sent you.'
'Frank is nay coming he sent me instead.'
Two Tall Grey pinstripe suited  Men built like a brick layers hod carrier walk up to the highlander.
'So I'll ask you again and if I don't like your answer you'll get a slap!'
The charming man who spoke was clearly leading the other, 'Well?'
'Frank had to run an errand, he sent me instead.'
'Errand! I'll give him Errand, Errand for Who?' The charmer, who looked like an ex boxer with the crooked nose that could only be the result of being broken more then once, and thick black slicked back hair, asked, while his colleague looked like an ex wrestler due to his cauliflower ears, also had dark slicked back hair.
'His Mother,' Jamie barked.
'His Bloomin MOTHER! again with the mother, that woman really gets my goat.' at this is colleague stuck out his chin and gave out a deep croaky laugh, like Paul Robeson imitating a goose badly.
'You got the blue prints?'
'Stall him, I'll look,' The Doctor whispered from behind the doors Jamie was still halfway through.
'Well let's hav' it.' The charmer said holding out his large hand.
'In a tick, I have it here somewhere,' Jamie said while patting down his pockets, and without warning the Mans Spade like hand Slapped Jamie so hard he knocked him back through the doors and onto the ground, The Doctor, who was already searching their unconscious friends inside jacked pocket found the Prints which on his return was surprised to see Jamie on his back, so he moved quickly to pressed the Blue Prints into Jamie's right outstretched hand.
Jamie was about to jump up shouting the Family war cry, When he heard, 'No! count to ten,' the Doctor suggested barely audible.
'I told ya, I have it here..' Jamie growled. sitting up and handing up the blue print.
Slowly with bloody lip Jamie rose from the doorway and gave the Man an angry stare...
'You best not give me attitude old man or that floor will be kissing your backside again...right!'
'Aye!' Jamie put in cautiously, fighting the urge to jump his attacker. 
'Henry will what to see you.'
'Yea he's gonna luv' Henry ain't he Charma...' the thug smirked in a slow laboured voice of someone whose heads been hit to many times for it's own good.
' What Duggie Ere' means is Henry don't like strangers or changes to his plans, you will Hav' to tell him what happened to Frank,  oh and compared to him your going to think I'm straight from Charm School, hence Me nick name Charmer!, you probably know me eh?,' he saw no recognition in Jamie's eyes when he turned from leading the way down into the shabby corridors, 'Jack Nash? ringing any bells? No? where the e'll you Bin livin pal? in a Ole' in the ground?' which was ironic considering their current location.
'I've been away a good while I just got ow't ta day,' Jamie suggested, but wishing he had an escape plan.
'Done some bird Hav' ya? your not all bad then Hey?' and the Charmer's companion with only five of his front teeth left broke his face in to another deep moronic laugh.
Along the corridors Jamie counted 6 more of the gang members either standing guard between the entrances taken on the way or in conversation in small groups.
As Nash pushed open yet more Double doors, he spoke to a Thug built like a rugby prop forward, but not as pretty.
'Joe! you get out and get Frank's Mother on the blower and ask her what she thinks she's up to today of all days.'
'Got Ya Charma... can I get a Pizza while I'm Owt'.'
'It's always your stomach with you Joe....Yea Get us and the boy's the normal.'
'Sure Charma... I'll be right back.' and Joe pushed passed Jamie and the wake of the man almost had him over again.
'Who the Ell's He? give Hym to the Garbage man...' Henry ordered.
(The Garbage man is the Barge Captain Henry uses to dump concrete shoed bodies in the Channel.)
'Hold on Guv' this Ere' is.....Hey! what's your name Jock in boots?' Charmer demanded
Trying to take in as much information of this rooms activity as he could Jamie stammered, 'Oh..Ah...I'm John.....Aye, John McTavish.' he finally managed to say.
'Nevva Herd of Ya! Dump Hym Charma.'
'Tell Him Jock or your fish food.' Charmer warned
'Frank's mother sent him on an he sent me with the Blue Prints, he told me it was urgent I get them to Yoo.' Jamie lied.
Henry Williams, twin to James came from the Eastend, their Mother, who they call Queenie, was none other then Victoria Williams, who named her son's after Kings of England, and as soon as they were in their teens gained a reputation for their brutality, especially James who was the muscle to Henry's brains.. At present James was serving time for his part in The Great Train Robbery, The Police know Henry was involved with the planning but couldn't prove anything due to the fact he was incarcerated for none payment of fines at the time of the Robbery. Both Brothers had the slicked back Raven Black hair, but at 27 Henry's was thinning on top giving him an older appearance. with a stubby nose round face and cleft chin he was a squat Robert Michum look alike at 5'3 (1.60cm )
Unlike the rest of this underground building this room was lavishly furnished with antique pieces a palace would be proud of; with the focal point being the french Boulle Desk Bureau Henry sat at reading the Daily Paper, a less ornate desk was occupied by a long haired hippy type man.
'So your Henry,' Jamie went on.
'Well do I look like my Brother?' Henry quipped, which was followed by Duggie's moronic laughter.
'Shut IT! Duggie.'
'Right Guv'.' Duggie answered fretting for his life.
.'Charmer.... get that woman on the phone now!'
'Already on it Guv'.'
'So where's the prints?'
The Charmer placed them on Henry desk.
Now Henry's attention wasn't aimed solely on him, Jamie studied the slightly built young man with long unkempt ginger hair and black rimmed glasses perched on his long thin nose,  Sam Parsons appeared to Jamie at least, as someone who would be comfortable in Jeans and T shirt rather then the slate blue jacket, white striped grey trousers and open white shirt that he managed to make scruffy somehow, in fact if there was one obvious thing he observed was how immaculately Henry and his Thugs dressed, but not this young fellow, he was the odd one out.
'Thanks....I'll scan um in later.' Sam declared without looking up from whatever the black rectangular object that seemed to shine light on his face was.
In the corner as menacing stationary as it was in full motion was a 6' 6' (198.12 cm) Yeti.
An involuntary shiver travelled up Jamie's spine, as he remember his last encounter with the fearsome beastie..
'Charmer give John Ere' a pony and send Hym on his way.' Henry barked.
'Hey! I din nay want your Pony!' Jamie said shocked, what was he supposed to do with a Pony he thought.
Henry looked up from his paper, giving the Highlander his full attention for the first time since entering his inner sanctum, and he had a stare that froze Jamie where he stood, and the same shiver he felt seeing The Yeti run up his spine again, making the hairs on the back of his neck bristle, 'Right throw this do gooder out,' Henry spat, 'and don't be gentle.'
'Righ'o Guv'... come on you loser,' he said to Jamie, who was still wondering what he was meant to do with a Pony in the middle of  London.
',' Henry growled at Jamie, 'before you go John... if I see you again your a dead man, got it? you've seen nuffin, heard nuffin right.....RIGHT!' he bellowed at Jamie
'Oh Aye...I'm Dead, got it,' Jamie acknowledge, he scanned the room for the last time and followed Jack aka The Charmer through the doors.
'Old Henry must be in a good mood, you don't know how lucky you are Jock... you don't even know our lingo do ya?'
'Lingo?' quizzed Jamie.
'That's what I'm on about.... Ere' £25 quid, that's a pony right?' unbeknown to Jamie that would be a weeks wages to the man on the street.
'Oh....Aye, if you say so, thank you,' Jamie not wishing to offend took the cash and stuffed it in his sheep skin jacked pocket.
'You know your way Out from here right? so on your way, scit scat! and if you know what's good for you you'll remember what Henry promised... don't slam  the door on your backside on the way out.'
'Aye,' is all Jamie could manage as he was anxious to get back to The Doctor.

The Doctor never stopped pacing, frantic to know what was going on down those corridors.
'Oh.....Come on Jamie,' he said for the sixth time, 'I should be doing something!... if they harm Jamie I'll not be best pleased, and goodness knows what Jamie will do, as I recall he was a stubborn hot head! which means I'll never hear the end of it.....Oh I should of stepped out!! ...hmm no that would have been a bad... yes a very bad idea...I need to focus!.... I'm here to put right a bit of absent mindedness on my part...oh Jamie where are you man?'
'Did Ya MISS ME?'
'For goodness sake Jamie do you need to be sneaky?'
'It's part of being Scottish Doctor, you should try being repressed sometime.'
'So what did you learn?, what are they up to? and why is £25 pocking out of your pocket?'
'It's a Pony!'
'Where?' the Doctor crouched ready to pounce at this alert. He  screwed his eyes searching the abandoned passage with the eyes of a comedian seeking his heckler.
'NO,  sorry, The Money!' The Doctor straightened and gave Jamie a disbelieving look, 'it's a Pony in a Lego or whatever That Charmer said.' Jamie beamed, amused at The Doctor's reaction.
'lingo Jamie.'
'Aye, that too.'
'Well whats with  this naming of things to animals round here... I wouldn't put on a hat and say Hey! look at my Monkey! that would be ridicules, these people are crazier then a sack of snakes Jamie that's for sure.'
'Yes Jamie?'
'Your ramblings!'
'am I?.... I think I do that now.'

Jamie had been gone 15 minutes when..'GUV!' Joe shouted as he burst into the room, making Sam spill his hot tea into his lap, causing him to jump up then feverishly attempt to wipe the hot liquid from his legs.
'What is it you Fool!' Henry cursed.
'Frankie's Mother! she don't know what we're on about! she said Frank hasn't been round to see her all week!' Joe said panting from his run.
'What?' Henry blurted...turming to stare daggers at The Charmer
'She Sai..' Joe chipped in but was cut short by Henry's raised hand.
'I heard you the first time you idiot!' Henry push back his chair, rose and walked over to the tall muscular Joe, who had the look of terror in his eyes... Henry had a terrible temper and wouldn't bat an eye at killing him on the spot.
'I don't know what else to tell ya Guv' she knows Nuffin!'
'Go find That Jock NOW!...I want him two minutes ago, GOT IT SUNSHINE!'
'Yes Guv'.' Joe looked to The Charmer and Duggie, and The Charmer nodded.
'Don't fret Guv' We'll find the Jock.' the Charmer said reassuringly.
'You bet your life you will, I want him dead and fish food by this evening.'
'Got it Guv',' he told Henry, 'go on Joe, you get Bishop, Sid and Fletch and search the north end, tell the Leach Brothers to check the south west.'
'On it Charma.' Joe  anxious, couldn't leave quick enough.
The Charmer pushed  Sam to the desk before leaving with Duggie, 'You get that sorted right now.' he said pointing to the bank blue prints.'
Sam bent forward and whispered in Charmer's ear.. Charmer just pushed him back, 'get on with it.'
Charmer left, Henry returned to his Desk and said happily, 'Bye bye Jock.'
Then he spun on Sam,  'You heard Charmer.'
Sam was still try to shake the tea from his trousers.
'LOOK ERE' You scruffy tart! I won't ask you again, have you found me an entry point to that Regency Bank Yet!'
Stammering with fear Sam bleated, 'Yeaa.....ya ...yes I ha have,' without looking at Henry he pointed to a point on The Blue Prints... 'The...the..'
'Shut that noise and talk!' Henry said full of Rage!
taking deep breaths until he calmed himself sufficiently Sam pointed down again, 'This shop, a shoe shop was once the office area of the Bank, the wall is so thin at this point...' he pointed dead centre to the adjoining wall, 'this point,' he continued, 'is where the office doors stood, and our furry friend will smash through, after I disable the shops alarms of course, and, and...' calming himself still more finished, 'and once through I will have 16 seconds to disarm The Banks alarm system.'
'GOOD! so your not a complete waste of space then four eyes... now get those tasteless trousers changed, you wear them round me again I'll set them on fire with you still in um.'
'Of course Henry.'
'NOW!' Henry screamed.
'OK...fine, thank you Henry I won't let you down.'
'Bloomin right you won't let me down you tart! now get off with ya, be back ere' 3. 30 sharp.'

Sam said no more as he  was to eager to leave this terrible mans company, and left for the apartment Henry provided near by.'

'So the Yeti controller is definitely in This Mob Boss's room....hmm we need to find a distraction... then go get it and home to the Tardis before Tea.'
But before the last word left The Doctor's lips running could be heard from the corridor.

'Jamie change of plan we need to get out of here now.'
'Aye I heard it too,' Jamie put his ear the the doors, who ever ran by they were gone, he opened the door a jar and peeped out,  Henry's boy's had clearly taken the route passed the stair they descended and carried on down the passage.
'Wait here Doctor I'll check the stairs.'
But he was too late and The Highlander pulled the door back and stepped through...
Two shots filled the corridor with  horrendous thunder.
Jamie was dead before he hit the ground, 'You Havin' lost it Charmer right between the eyes.' Duggie laughed.
'Yea just like ridin a bike Duggie,' The Charmer agreed and they both walked down the stairs, and they dragged Jamie's lifeless body down the corridor, and he would soon be on the barge heading out to his resting place in The Channel.
The Doctor Stood frozen still in the abandoned passage.... his eyes staring in shock and disbelief
'The Doctor too Shocked to move was over looked yet again.
This was no comfort, he was devastated, in the form Jamie knew him by, he had never lost a companion, but in this Form he lost one in half a day.
With tears flowing... he focused on his reason to be here, he must finish what he started or Jamie's death was for nothing.
It took him 2 hours before he could leave unseen, at The Tardis a police officer waited, 'Oi you! is this yours?'
'I haven't time for you.' the Doctor uttered empty of all feeling and walking passed unlocked and entered the Tardis.
'Oi! I was talking to you.' the officer protested, hammering on the door, get out here now, do you hear me? or you'll be making even more trouble for yourself!'
The Office spoke into his Radio, 'a suspect has entered and is now trapped in the Police Box over...he's not going anywhere, do I have permission to force entry over?..'

'Good work Charmer, if you failed you would be with the garbage man instead.'
'I hear ya Guv' I'm just glad we could tiding up the mess.'
'Right now get the Van this Hairy Brute has a job to do......get the boys ready.'
'Already on it Guv'.'
'I told you he would exit those doors...' Sam gloated.
'Yea, lucky for you he did clever clogs, or I might not of returned in such a good mood.' The Charmer replied.

In The Tardis The Doctor was inconsolable, 'Why.....Why Why Why?' he howled.
He hit the console with his fist...
'Well I'm not  going to waste another second on these people,' The Doctor set about making a bracelet he'd not used since he was school boy.

As Henry's Gang gathered in his office, listening to the plan of attack on the Bank, The Doctor was ready with his new toy, a transporter directly linked to his Tardis, so now matter where it positioned itself in the know universe he could instantly return  with just a thought.
So he went through his plan in his head again... in, grab controller, set self destruct, out.
he set his mind to the room

'Did yoo hear that Doctor?' Jamie said with his ear pressed to the door.
'NO! no no, this can't happen! this never happens!' The Doctor said, shutting his eyes and opening them again to ensure he wasn't dreaming, and he wasn't dreaming.
'What's got into yoo Doctor it's only The Thugs runnin' around.'
'I know Jamie, that's the problem.'
'Nay worries Doctor we can go, I think they're gone.'
'No Jamie Wait! Don't you dare go through that door,' the Doctor demanded, pointing, 'I mean it, you won't like it.'
'Fine....what do you suggest then?'
'Well back here.... did you notice the service door? I think it must lead to the tracks, which means, if we're careful we can walk along and exit at a station or another service door.'
'It's a bit stiff Doctor!'
'Yes isn't that the way with old doors, let me see....Ah there I see it,' and The Doctor produced a spray can with a lubricant, 'rust!....this will sort it.'
After a generous application of the spray Jamie was ready to try the door again.
''s nay better.....oh wait, here we go.'
The door opened inward towards the to Travellers, 'Wait here Doctor I'll just check it's clear..'
'Oh Really Jamie I'm a grown man,' The Doctor said flapping his arms.
'Just wait, I've been looking out for you for a long time ya know,'
'Ah..yes of course, I have fallen victim to your sound judgement, carry on.'
'Aye, back in a mo.'

If anything the shots in the Tunnel sounded louder then the corridor they avoided and Jamie was dead before he hit the tracks...

Dumb struck the Doctor projected in his mind the command that would return him to The Tardis.
'Alright now Doctor,' he told himself sternly, 'Focus this Time...In grab out.

'Did yoo Hear that Doctor? Jamie said with his ear pressed to the door.
 'NO!..Why are you torturing me?' Begged The Doctor.... 'I think The Tardis has had a mental breakdown... or I am.'
'Shhh! Doctor, your ranting again, I'm trying to hear if they're gone.

And The Doctor Learnt no Matter which direction they took it always end with Jamie's death. And this time he was badly injured just to make his nightmare even more hazardous.
This occurred when Jamie fell yet again with the Doctor at his side...The Charmer's shot ricocheted from the rail track and struck him in the thigh missing the major arteries by fractions of a millimetre. He managed to back into the vent they entered from, where he teleported unseen.

In conversation before this death Jamie asked ‘Well Doctor if! as you say this day seems unending to yoo,’ as the Doctor eluded any question of his death, ‘why don’t you make me a teleport thingy?’

‘I can’t Jamie, oh believe me I wish it were that simple but you need my DNA for the bracelet to link to the Tardis…and……OH MY GOOD MOONSHINE DAYS! Jamie you’re a genius!’
‘Am I now, that’s a first coming from yoo.’
‘Well today will be a day of firsts if we can avoid capture and get back to the Tardis, so let's try again shall we?’
‘Aye, here we go!’ and Jamie kicked out the grill of the vent and slid out to the tracks, followed by the Doctor.

In the Tardis Zoe gave The Doctor a disapproving look... Again.
‘Don’t look at me like that! I'm not at fault here...he’s so bullhead…you should be aware of that surely! No? Nothing?.’ The Doctor asked as he dragged himself to the medical room, 'No don't get up I'll make my own way thank you Zoe,' adding in frustration, 'your owners a friend of mine too...doesn't that count for anything?' Zoe made a sound that could only be a Huff!
'Well I love you too by the way.' only this time it was said through gritted teeth as the pain became unbearable.

Zoe whining sadly lay by Jamie’s discarded cloak and dagger and the irony wasn't  lost on the Doctor.

Fortunately the medical facilities on the Tardis, can be if required, fully automated, this is highly advanced, but nothing you wouldn't expect from an advanced Alien Civilisation, but getting there with his blood draining fast was his main concern.
In a blinding white flashing agony he lifted himself and fell on to the surgery scanner, come healer, come bed, and slipped into unconsciousness, the trail of smeared blood lead back from this bed to control room, and looked like some macabre artists brush strokes, applied with relish.

'There I told you there was two of um. didn't I." Sam said in self praise.
'Lucky for you, or I wouldn't have come back in such a good mood,' The Charmer asserted.
'What happened to the other one Charmer that's the question?'
'He won't be far, he'll probably die from the blood loss Guv', leg wounds are the worst.'
'You better hope he does, I don't want the old bill sniffing round here, you and Duggie go find Hym NOW!'
'Concider it done Guv' he'll be in a hole somewhere.' he gestured to Duggie and both left, leaving just Henry and the Scruffy Sam in the lair.

Joe knocked and entered the room, 'Guv' someones Ere' to see you.'
'And who would that be?'
'It's Sidney Beckett Guv', shall I send Hym away or let hym through?'
Henry smiled an evil smile, 'gool ol' Sid Beckett eh? let him in Joe...Oh and Joe take care of anyone accompanying him... only allow Sid through, got it?'
'Right you are Guv', they will be dealt with.'
Sidney Beckett immaculate in a dark green suit and gold waste coat, entered, the 6'6" Ex professional boxer looked at ease in this foreboding company, he had bright blue eyes that seemed to Pierce right through you in his stare.
Sid would be considered a handsome man, and as of yesterday he is now 30 years old.
'Well, well, well haven't we done well me ol' mate,' he said
With no welcome in his voice at all Henry looked intently at his old school buddy and Jame's Best Mate, 'What do You want I'm a Busy man.' Henry spat in disgust at the arrogance of the man.
'Oh we know your busy mate, be sure we have noticed...Bernie sent me round to discuss just how busy you've been Me ol' Mucker... So?'
'TELL BERNIE TO KEEP HIS NOSE OUT OF MY BUSINESS!' Henry yelled unable to contain his rage.
Sidney laughed, 'I see your temper hasn't improved with age... your going to burst a vain in your neck one day,' now Sydney took on a serious stance, 'Your on our manor, those Banks are under our protection, got it?' Sidney said threateningly.
'You dare to embarrass US! on our Turf!, Bernie will look on it as a misunderstanding if you pay what you owe,' and as quick as a flash he reached into his Jacket and drew two silver pearl handled colt ace 22 long rifle pistols, that had the most exquisite engraving work, which made them things of beauty.
 'Let me introduce you to Retribution and Death.... little beauties ain't they?' He said with eyes that begged Henry to try something, 'got your attention Ave' I Henry?
Henry to Sidney's astonishment just looked up at his old friend laughing hysterically, 'this day just gets better and better don't you think Sam?
Sam Parsons however was cowering behind his desk wearing a strange headset with what looked like a microphone attached.
'What you up to Ginger... stand where I can see you.' Sidney Beckett hissed.
Sam to terrified froze, so Sidney fired Death.... the shot splintered the desk between Sam's outstretched fingers making him pull away so fast he fell backwards.
The Shots could be heard throughout the abandoned underground... so when Sam stood hands held high over his head, Duggie and The Charmer ran into the room, Charmer had already ordered Joe to contain Sid's two colleagues.
Without thinking Duggie attempted to grab Sidney from behind and a vicious elbow to his face sent him to the ground  knocked clean out.
Sidney stepped backwards over him so he could beckon The Charmer to stand by his Boss.
'I'd say that's the rest of Duggie's front teeth gone now Guv'.' Charmer rightly concluded.
'Teeth we can Buy Charma' now Sid have I introduced you to The Yeti?'
Sensing someone was standing behind him Sidney Beckett spun in time to see The Yeti approach.
Henry, Charmer and Sam just waited to see what transpired after Sam shouted Kill to the Yeti through his head set.
Retribution and Death spat in Sidney's hands directly into the beasts chest, but apart from the metallic thump of each round striking the Yeti's armour, the Beast continued to walk towards it's prey, and that was the frightening thing... it is unstoppable! As the Army found to their cost when they encountered the Yeti.
Dropping the now useless pistols and still ready to fight Sidney ducked the Yeti's swing and returned a right uppercut that would have knocked out any other opponent... but he broke his fist when it connected with The Yeti, Sid still had the wits about him to dodge another wild swing and attempted to block the next to his cost, when the Yeti broke his left arm, it fell painfully swinging at the Boxers side...with his instinct to survive taking over Sid head butted the Yeti so hard he broke his own skull and The Yeti beat a fearsome warrior to the ground.
'Cor Blimey Guv your ol' school chum died like a real trooper, I Ave' to admit part of me was rooting for him to put in a good shot before he went.' The Charmer said, nodding admiringly at The Yeti who was now motionless again at Sam's halt command.
'Get that Garbage out of Ere'...... No...wait I've a better idea, I think we need to send Bernie a personalised message...Get one of the boys to fetch a Hat Box... and rip a strip off Sid's suit for a bow.' Henry said smiling.
'You got it Guv' and the rest of Hym?'
'Do you really need me to Tell you Charma?'
'Garbage it is then... the Captain is going to be a busy boy today.' and Charmer was about to leave and bark out his orders when their Police Sergeant walked in...'Ello ello ello what's going on Ere' then.' he smirked.
'What do you want Pepper?' Henry countered.
'My officers saw two men leaving an old Police Box earlier today, one we believe is a Scot, due to the fact he was wearing a kilt, this Police Box is in Hammond Street, not a stones throw from here, they saw your Chum Frankie Hood follow them to this place, so one of my officers will be guarding that Box on rotation, that will cost, but somehow we believe one of them made it back inside.'
 'How Bloomin fantastic is that? Guv',' Charmer chirped.
'Get me Derick the Bomb,' Henry ordered.
'Why Guv' I can take care of it.'
'Well I'm thinking he won't be too keen the let you boys in for a chat since you killed his friend and possibly him too.'
'But why Derick? Guv'.'
'Do I Ave' to Think of everything round Ere' might need to blow the bloomin doors off.'
'You are so on the ball today Guv' good call, I'll go with Derick and give it the ol' Knock Knock' who's there routine.' and with that he was gone.
'You still Ere'?' Henry hollered at the Sergeant...'
'Well like I said keeping a guard on that Box costs,'
'Yes and a fat lot of good they are if they let someone back in!'
Well we don't know, a man has to eat, he could of sneaked back while our man was eating, there's a cafe across the road, now he swears no one entered, but then he did have his back turned to order, and he can here something coming from inside the thing.'
'Well that's wonderful knowing how safe Our City is under such diligence, just take a Monkey (£500) and get out of my sight.'
The Sergeant left with a brown envolope stuffed full of £10 notes.
Henry was happy again...he will show everyone who owns London.
He looked across at Sam..'Oi! has for you, you four eyed tart... well done,' he told Sam.

The Doctor woke to banging, the wound on his leg was closed and partly healed, such is the advantage of advanced technology.
With the Aid of a wheel chair the automated system assessed as a requirement, The Doctor  had mobility while he healed.
He viewed the surgery log and reviewed the automated systems procedure, 'hmm three pints of blood..that's almost a leg full.' he observed.
Even with the aided healing the notes pointed out the patient would required a month of rest before he was ready to walk.
Again he heard a heavy fist on The Tardis doors.....he wheeled over to listen.
'Oi! you in there....This is The Police, open up or we will force entry.'
The Doctor recognised The Chamer's voice and replied, 'Sorry I'm busy, but any messages you have for me can be pinned to the door, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.'
'Right you were warned Smart Alec.... Derick do you stuff.'
Derick The Bomb placed some gelly (gelignite) oh the door next to the lock, and push in a small detonator and running the wire to the trigger, Derick, Charmer and the office stool against the wall of a shop on the corner, where Derick hit the switch.....BOOM!!
The Blast shattered the windows within 50 yards of  Police Box.
'You idiot were supposed to blow the doors off!' The Charmer said chuckling, 'I've always wanted to say that, a big Michael Caine fan I am...'
The Police Officer was less impressed...'You two jokers better take a hike... I'm not going to be able to prevent a Police response to that mess.' he said removing his helmet and wiping the sweat from his guilty forehead.
'how did you Not! Blow the doors Derick?... Henry is going to go Mental!'
'I don't understand....that blast should have gone inward not out!' Derick exclaimed.
'Well let's scarper before the real Bill get here.'

The Doctor wasn't worried as the day would reset soon enough.

For now though,  the headline that evening read!....Terrorist bomb explodes in the Capitol.

The Doctor set to work on Jamie's Bracelet and  used the DNA from his spilt blood before mopping up the mess, which was no mean feat in a wheel chair, with his DNA he made a patch so  Jamie could used it without exploding his molecules into space, and then they could finally leave this Hell on Earth.
A month later he was managing to walk with the aid of a silver handled cane.
Before resetting the day, he checked Zoe had been fed and watered.... 'So listen again girl... it's one bark for stake, two for fish, three for a biscuits... oh and yelp for water...have you got that?
Zoe barked and with the Zetant food recreation pad activated it spat out a stake..'wonderful I see your a go in the food department,'  The Doctor said pleased.
Then a thought occurred to him....Maybe we better test this on a living thing before I hand Jamie a possible exploding death..
'Ah Zoe? Walkies girl!'
Then with a thought he joined Jamie once again.

'Did yoo hear that Doctor?' Jamie said with his ear pressed to the door.
'Ah...Jamie we need to talk,'
Zoe happy to she her master leapt up licking his face..
'That's disgusting Jamie,' The Doctor said squirming at the thought of dog breath on his face.
'how did she get here? and .....what's with the cane? why are yoo limpin Doctor?'
'I'll be back and explain.' and Zoe and The Doctor vanished.

On The Tardis Zoe huffed at The Doctor then returned to lay by The Highlander's Cloak.
'Why are you looking at me like I did a bad thing? you got to see your master, and greet him with that awful face licking ritual...actually Why can't you just rub noses or something?' Zoe just tilted her head at this question,  'Yes, well on second thoughts that would be as equally unpleasant, but I did a good thing, Jamie is suitably covered in your lovely saliva so not a complete waste of your day hmm?'
Zoe barked in answer and a fish appeared in the galley.
'I think a little bit of gratitude  isn't much to ask, It's not like I usually take DOGS! on  jaunts! I'm not The Dog Jaunting Doctor.' The Doctor stated sulking.
Another bark produced a stake, 'Well that's a mess you need to clean up, so you behave while I'm gone, I don't want my Tardis full of fish when we get back, is that clear? you four legged bag of attitude you,  what do you say?, anything coming to you at all?'
Zoe huffed, lowered her head and waited for Jamie.
'Typical....never work with dogs or children is my motto and one day I will stick to it.'

The Doctor reappeared alone.
'Did yoo hear that Doctor?' Jamie said
'Sit down Jamie we need to be quick...' he said.

When Jamie Finally understood what had transpired, his first response was, 'I died how many times?'
'Ah ...well this is awkward... a good few times I'd say.'
'How  many Doctor...six seven?'
'OK which?...Oh never mind hey! so you left me here for a month to recoup form your injury? right?'
'No! no.. Well...Did if feel like a month to you?'
'No actually...I never felt you left.'
'Well  naturally for me it was a long and quite an emotional time, Bullets tear into the flesh, there is tremendous damage, with out the Tardis facility it could literally take years to recover, but for you, obviously no time passed.'
'Were you upset?'
'Of course I was Upset!... there were tears and everything, it was devastating moment for me, you should of been there.'
'Yes Really! you should of been there, then all of this would have been unnecessary.' The Doctor quipped.
'It's strange Doctor I would nay thought The Tardis cared fa me.' Jamie remarked.
The Doctor stopped and looked wide eyed at Jamie, 'what ever made you say that Jamie?'
'It's OK I'm Fine with it, can I have ma bracelet thingy so we can get Owt of here,' Jamie held out his arm.
'Lovely ....finally I can end this nightmare...' then The Doctor Pulsed staring madly at the Bracelet in his Hand.
'Oh No! no no no no. your RIGHT! since when has My Tardis cared for a Human?' it's never...I don't understand, I don't like it...there is something...' he stopped
Alarmed Jamie took The Doctor by the shoulders and shook him, 'Doctor yoo need to stop rambling, you really do!'
'No, Jamie I'm not rambling...don't you see this?'
'Aye, it's my bracelet to get out of here alive.' Jamie answered reassuringly.

The Doctor started limping as he paced up and down saying, 'No ...No No I can't believe it!'
'DOCTOR!' Jamie could not contain his frustration any longer, 'just hand me the bracelet, we need to go or they will find us here.'
'You don't understand Jamie.... this....this THING! is the Problem... this is why we're here, this is the moment I have to Fix don't you SEE! Oh why didn't I notice the loop was broken when the Tardis allowed me to return!'
'Your scaring me Doctor I think your losing your mind... all this rambling and ranting! your not The Doctor I remember at all!' Jamie confessed, terrified at how unstable this Doctor seemed.
'No Jamie Listen to me..... this bracelet is the Problem, this is why you Died, someone in my future... a Companion is using this Bracelet ....Here Now!...this is Why we are Here, The Tardis is quite insistent we stay until this day is dealt with to her satisfaction...' The Doctor concluded still with the madness in his eyes that frightened Jamie.
'I don't say the Tardis put you in this loop..'
'It has to be this... The Tardis doesn't work like the Human mind Jamie, a Tardis is it's own entity and doesn't formulate thought along the same lines of any other living organism, I've lived here almost 2,000 years and I will never fully understand it. The Time Lords acquired them you see, this is beyond Gallifreyan technology and not something they would readily admit...' he reflected more handing his hands over his ears,  'What a pompous race we are Jamie, we discover these machines built by a civilisation that suffered a cataclysmic disaster on a Galactic scale and we dare to call ourselves Lords of Time,  OK so Rassilon gave us the ability to power them and discovered it's power over time and space, I am beginning to see..' The Doctor trailed off.'
Jamie didn't like this situation one bit.
'Doctor! what are we to do?' he asked desperately.
'I surmise This Jamie, at some Point in my future regardless of the circumstances contrived by The Tardis... I develop this Bracelet that links it to My Old Girl, someone and I believe it's clear who, by your observations of your meeting with these Ruffians, has used it to get here, where he knew about The Yeti... which means he's had access to my diary.' on this bombshell The Doctor stopped pacing.
'Do you remember when we entered....oh sorry of course you have no recognition of the steps we've taking to escape this underground.'
'Aye, so what are we to do?'
'Follow me,' urged The Doctor where a few steps away,, he points out a metal grilled vent just big enough for a Man to travel on hands and knees.
'When we entered  this before, we heard voices, but we never sought it out, I need to see This Sam you described, hopefully this will take us to him.'
'Well in for a penny Doctor.' Jamie said as he waited for the sonic to do it's work at The Doctor's  Coercion.
Jamie was about to lead the way when The Doctor insisted he would do so, pointing out Jamie's Kilt.
'You've no idea how I've suffered Jamie.'
'Oh Aye, you suffered, I Died... I know what I would Preefur'.' Jamie grumbled.
As the cane would generate noise in the confined space and quite pointless in the confined place, The Doctor placed it by the vent and entered, then he painfully made his way towards the distorted  hum of conversation.

Fortunately the vent did travel along side Henry's chamber, the bottom of the vent was about 2 metres from the chamber floor and both Jamie and The Doctor managed to get a view, as Henry screamed at Sam

'LOOK ERE' You scruffy tart! I won't ask you again, have you found me an entry point to that Regency Bank Yet!'
Stammering with fear Sam bleated, 'Yeaa.....ya ...yes I ha have,' without looking at Henry he pointed to a point on The Blue Prints... 'The...the..'
'Shut that noise and talk!' Henry said full of Rage!
'See what I mean Doctor!  this Sam does nay fits here.' Jamie whispered towards the Doctor's backside.
'Yes, yes shhh.... look he has a computer tablet on his desk, that's not going to be around for 40 years or more.' The Doctor said, satisfied they had the man responsible for The Old Girls distress took a picture with his communication device.
'What yoo doing with that wee thing?' Jamie observed that palm sized object in The Doctors hand when he rested his head to the grill.
'It's a kind of Phone.... Jamie shhh!'
'Who are yoo going to Call?' he said hissed fetting for their safety with him playing about.
'I'm taking a picture of chummy boy.'
'On a Phone?' Jamie interrupted again.
'Yes....yes Shhhhh! it's a phone and a Camera OK? got that have we?'
'No...but it does nay matter if we can get out of here alive!'
'Which we will do if you Hush.... take the picture..' The Doctor ordered.
'But I thought yoo were taking it?'
'What?....can't you see I've taken it? reach into my back pocket I just printed  a copy.'
'You are strange,' Jamie proclaimed.
'Put it this way Jamie we won't be swapping underwear any time soon.' The Doctor wiggled his bottom to stress some urgency.
'Fine....Oh there is something in here,'  and Jamie removed a close up of Sam's face, ' have great underwear Doctor if you don't mind me saying.'
'Jamie will you please hush!! the pocket is a printer scanner.... simple.' uttered The Doctor as quietly as he could, while attempting to look through his legs at Jamie.

'Where is That Yeti going! did you switch it on?' Henry demanded. his face still red from shouting.
'No I haven't set anything....I don't even have the command head must have malfunctioned!' Sam said desperate not the antagonise Henry further.

'What are they talking about Doctor? I don't see the Yeti!'
'I'm not sure we have a good view.... it could be stood along the wall....'
Just then the Yeti appeared his large furry head almost filling the grill...
'AHH! cried Jamie in shock, 'it knows you Doctor!'
at the Same moment The Doctor also let out an involuntary  call of alarm. 'AHHHH! Oh My, I nearly mess myself...quick back out....Now!'

The Yeti was already pulling away the grill and reached in, to late to grab the fleeing pair.

'Faster Jamie .....Faster!'
'I'm going faster then yoo Doctor....come on,' Jamie pleaded

'Oi!! you Two,' it was Frankie... he had force open the locked doors of the Toilets and saw the open vent.
Frankie still head spinning was furious and he wasn't going to let those two jokers get away again, so he unholstered his Beretta before following them in.
As Two shots filled the air, louder then anyone could bare... Frankie still groggy dropped his pistol to hold his hands over his ears.
Then his Jaw Dropped in amazement as the vent was ripped open, as well as the surrounding walls and The Yeti was reaching out for him.

On The Tardis the Doctor allowed the bullets to pass through the teleport moments before he allowed Jamie and Himself to materialise and they slammed into the far walls of the console room.
'How exhilarating I need to get out more. wasn't that Fun!' The Doctor said happily.
'FUN!' cried Jamie, 'I'm convinced you've lost your mind Doctor!'
Still on hands and knees, Zoe ran over and licked the Doctor's face...''Ewww! I see you found the fish to your liking, can you stop DOING THAT! go share all the joy with Jamie.' The Doctor begged.
'Here girl....who's a clever girl hey!' Jamie said in greeting and now getting her full attention.
'She likes you Doctor.'
'Really! well I hope we can correct that misconception at some point.' he replied wiping his face with an anti bacterial gel and drying off with his handkerchief .... 'That's a germ just waiting to dominate the universe right There! by the way.'
Both men now stood looking at the view screen filled with the face of Sam Parsons

'Well Sammy boy must have the bracelet Jamie, so we still have work to do....Or to be exact YOU! have work to do Jamie.'
'Why just me? It's nay my fault?' Jamie said looking  at The Doctor while stooping to comfort Zoe, perplexed.
'Well I can HARDLY turn up on my future self can I! it's a Paradox!
'What's That?'
'Oh's when the same person.. in this case Me occupies the same space as another future or past Me!'
The Doctor continued amused at Jamie's uncomprehending stare, 'A PAIR OF DOC'S get it?' No?'s times like this I wish I brought Zoe! not you Zoe,' he sniffed, 'I can still smell fish by the way...' then back to  Jamie, 'Zoe would have had tears in her eyes by now...'
'Aye cause she would nay get it either Doctor, so what do you suggest... are we going back and taking Sam and all the future Thingies he stole?' Jamie said reminding the Doctor of his mission.
'Oh There's no need to go back now I know the culprit, I can prevent the moment he first entered the Tardis.'
'So all this was for nothing?'
'Don't be ridiculous Jamie,  for us these events have taken place...I'm still limping for goodness sake... and It's quite painful thank you for asking...' The Doctor stroppily replied at his baffled companion.
'So what's your plan?' Jamie asked again, dreading the answer.

Back in the Underground the Yeti was still running a mock.....Sam Teleported, as The Doctor expected, making it pointless to return at that point.

'Are you ready Jamie?....Jamie wasn't but he said 'Aye,' anyway.

Jamie didn't seem to go anywhere....
'Who are you! and why are you on my Ship? this isn't a Time Share...he laughed at his own use of Time.
Taking a while to assess this Other same Doctor, Jamie eventually said 'Oh...Aye, I'm Jamie...' and The Doctor interrupted Jamie!! no you're way to old for Jamie.' he countered holding Jamie's face and looking at it intently.

'You Sent me.' Jamie announced arms open wide so The Doctor could see all of him.
'Did I mention The Paradox?'
'Aye that you did and I did Nay get it,'
The Doctor looked astounded... 'Really!! you didn't get that?'
'NO I did Nay.'
The Doctor strutted purposely round the Console hitting switches with a rubber mallet... 'They stiffen up something awful in space.' he confided to This Older Jamie.
'Why not use you're spray can thingy?'  Jamie asked.
'I ran out....I must go shopping... are you in shopping mood Old fellow? The Doctor rudely enquired
'LOOK! I'm here to warn you about a young man who you allow to enter The Tardis... he must not be allowed in, he is big Trouble yoo'd sooner avoid, which is why you sent me by the way.'
'He must be very bad  then ...what am I saying, there're always Bad,  have you a Picture of this deviant?
'Aye here.' he confirmed by handing The Doctor the Photo, 'he goes by the Name Sam Parsons but that may not be his real name.'
'He's Ginger!....that's shocking,' mocked The Doctor, 'No I've not seen this strange looking Man so on your way, I'm a busy Man.... no time for Chit Chat...' he stopped to look at Jamiem 'Well? your still here?'
'OK fine.... nay bothered either, I'd like to say nice to meet yoo but I'd be lying.' and Jamie hit the recall.

'Well are we Done?'
' were very rude by the way.'
'I only observed Zoe has Fish Breath.... that's quite charming for me.' he concluded.
'Very well,' The Doctor added 'let me set your bracelet further into my future.'
Jamie held out his arm.... 'Done you can go!' The Doctor told him.
Jamie almost Jumped out of his socks, without thinking he hit return.
'Did you call Grandfather?' Susan asked concerned.
'Ah...No, No My dear I'm just ...I just called to ask if you'd like some tea My Dear.' He said, worried the Madness The Time Lords feared was gripping him, it was his only fear when taking The Tardis as a young teenager.
'I'll get it Grandfather, you get back to working on the console.'
'Very Well My Dear.....Very Well, but do not fuss me now child, configuring the Tardis coordinates is a precise and delicate thing...hmm.'

'THAT WAS OLD GRUMPY!!' Jamie exclaimed in horror,
'Oh How wonderful for you, how was he, as charming as me?
'I nay had time... I panicked!'
'Well that was unfortunate but he was a formidable opponent.... he took no prisoners as I recall,' The Doctor studied the settings of the Bracelet, 'Ahh there we have it ....I was out by .000006 on the coordinates ... who knew?' he smirked at Jamie.
The Doctor with Zoe at his side, wagging her tail at all the excitement. looked content for the first time since the Regeneration, having Jamie back seemed to rejuvenate his sense of Wonder.
'Well Jamie...' he looked at his companion with pride, 'on your way.'

On materialisation Jamie noticed this console room had changed from the darkly lit room he'd just left to a much more familiar look.... with the white circular Roundels...and it was bright and easier on the eye, even the console switches and dials made more sense.
'Oh it's you again... I told you I have not seen Ginger!' The Doctor reassured his visitor, without even looking at him.
Jamie was about to leave saying, 'Fine, well keep your doors closed to him, hey.'
Then he stopped spun back to the Doctor and looked him straight in the face...' you know what to look out for, and you remembered my last visit eh?,' Jamie said quizzically.
The Doctor pulled at the tightness of his collar, looking bemused and embarrassed.
'Well actually Jamie....I've known what to do since we left the Underground,' he mumbled.
'What? this was just a stupid game to yoo?' Jamie roared.
Leaning over the Console to stare directly at Jamie The Doctor looked angry, 'I wanted you to feel at HOME! and NEEDED! so shoot me if I got it wrong, it's not everyday I get to make amends! I lost Zoe and YOU at the hands of The High Council...BUT IT WAS MY DOING!..,' he stormed.

Jamie step back, this wasn't his Doctor.
Now calm The Doctor speaking quietly, 'I let you down, I'm sorry.'
'Well I better be getting back..,' Jamie reasoned.
The Doctor walked over to Jamie and placed a reassuring hand on his companions shoulder.
'I'd like you to know, seeing you again has shone a light on my soul, I was in a dark place Jamie, and you saved me from it, now go back, I will explain everything.'

'YOU LIED TO ME.' Jamie shouted on his return.
'OH..dear the future me slipped did he? and I had high hopes for him,' The Doctor interjected .
'Aye..I know this is a waste of time because you already intend preventing the event that allowed Sam Parsons in here.'
'Yes your correct in one way...' The Doctor hesitated, but looking at Jamie he realised he had to be more open, 'While you were gone I sent myself a message requesting why this Sam fellow got access to The've seen it before, I used a cube, and got one in reply.'
'SO,' The Doctor said pointing to the screen this is My Reply.'
The screen lit up with a fussy image of a face, until it focused, 'Hello Me,' the face of The Doctor said.
'This rogue you asked about was running from people who meant him serious harm,  as you no doubt know the 21 century in The British Isles, will see the return of The Police Box in most cities, they are community hubs with a computer pad for direct contact to the local Police Station, they're also rest stops for the local bobby on the beat,' the face laughed, 'fascinating isn't it, we came full circle, anyway this Sam hammered on the Door screaming he was going to be murdered, he thought...wrongly that this box contained one of the resting Police Men...' the face shrugged his shoulders 'So I let him in,' The Screen faded.

'That will not happen now thanks to you Jamie.'
'But they will Merder hem!' Jamie exclaimed.
The Doctor looking at Jamie volunteered,'This Man Jamie had you shot may times, he had no concern for your welfare believe me, besides a slippery snake like Sam no doubt talked his way out of any murder they intended.' He spoke in the soft voice the future Doctor used.

'Aye, fair enough Doctor, so we're done now?'
'Not quite Jamie, we still need to dispose of The Yeti before he's discovered and falls into the wrong hands,' The Doctor pointed out.
'So what do we do, that beastie is indestructible.'
'Well...the other problem we need to correct is your bracelet,' he said pointing to it on Jamie's wrist.
'Oh Aye...forgot this was the main problem,' he was about to remove it and hand it to The Doctor when a thought accrued, 'Doctor do you Thin...' but before he could finish The Doctor knew what he was about to ask, and interrupted him.
'You want to see him again, don't you?'
'Aye, I never really got to say goodbye as we should, they wiped my memory of it anyways.'

'Jamie I set the coordinates before you left... just press the green button twice.'

Sensing he was no longer alone in the console room The Doctor said 'Ah...Jamie, couldn't you sleep?'
Jamie  over come with emotion at seeing his Doctor sobbed, tears rolling down his face, 'No I could nay Doctor.'
The Doctor pulsed and looked hard at Jamie, 'come closer Jamie...' as Jamie walked closer he said, 'ah didn't he tell you I'd be able to see the shimmer of a Gallifreyan cloak?'
Jamie still struggling with his emotions could only answer 'I Do Nay know what Yoo mean Doctor,'  he sobbed again.
'I mean this Jamie,' the Doctor lifted the arm with the bracelet to study it closer, 'Ah... My Word! well you never got this from Mother did you Jamie..' he chuckle, 'I've not seen one of these since my childhood...Oh we we're very daring as children and we would make these and dare each other to jump something high, like a tower or Mountain if you were more adventurous, and hopefully reappear over a lake or possibly sliding in the Snow somewhere..I see this one has been adapted to link to this Tardis' The Doctor momentary looked sad as he continued, 'The High Council banned these when four children died, it was all very sad really,' then he focused back to the bracelet saying, 'Do you mind Jamie?'
'No Doctor, help yorsell.' he trusted the Doctor completely.
With a few light touches he finished by squeezing the sides, the Cloak that projected a younger Jamie was shut down.
'Ah.. there you's been a long time hasn't it,' seeing the tears in Jamie's eyes he carried on, 'there there Jamie you mustn't  fret' he said patting Jamie's hand, 'Now don't tell me what happened... I think facing our future with ignorance and hope is the best way to go, don't you think?
'Aye Doctor..... it's wonderful to see you again, how did you know another Doctor sent me?'
'Because this is Gallifreyan and forgive me if I mention no other Gallifreyan would help you Jamie..' he sat back looking at his older companion, 'Well I imagine our parting was painful for us both, and was out of my hands, so be it, but I do apologise Jamie, if I ever let you down, Ah..that was never my intention.'
Then a voice from the corridor made them both freeze.
'Doctor are ya still awake? yawned a sleepy Jamie.
'Quick into the galley,' The Doctor whispered to one...and answered the other 'Oh Jamie... did I wake you?'
Running over to the galley door way, Jamie hid in the shadows.
'Ock! yoo'r always tinkering with that thing Doctor do yoo ever sleep?' the younger man said entering the console room and blinking to it's brightly lit interior after the subdued lighting of the passage.
'Yes I sleep Jamie everyone sleeps, even a Dalek, so what is your reason to be up dear boy.' he replied looking concerned for his young companion.
'OH... I had that dream again,'
'Ah yes, Well.... it's more of you attempting to change the hardships to your past that keeps your mind so active in your dreams, some warm milk will soothe that troubled mind of yours Jamie.'
'But we could never find my Bother Doctor, it plagues me still, remember I told you how my Brother was kidnapped and force into the navy?' Jamie reminded The Doctor.
Jamie still in the Shadows recalled the time he and his father travelled to London, to find his Brother before he was sold... these deals were common and the gangs were ruthless. the gang they encountered almost sold Jamie too, had it not been for his father, who was fearless with a Claymore
'Yes evil times Jamie... The so called Kings Shilling was a lucrative business to the unscrupulous.'
'Well a gang in London would have had me away too, if it was nay for ma Father.'
The older Jamie saw that day clearly now.
The Doctor sat down and patted the chair next to him, and Jamie sat.
'Listen Jamie, there are horrors everywhere, so you need to find a way to close them in your mind, or they will steal your sleep.... We have fought many Monsters you and I...and someone with a total disregard for any life,  can be a Monster! Jamie, some are born and some are made, we must deal with them in our lives, but don't let them deny you sleep.' With that The Doctor rose and Clapped his hands with a big grin on his face and he pointed to Jamie's heart... 'I'll make us both a warm milk... hmm! that would be a perfectly delightful way to end the day hmm?, and you can even have a cookie, what do you say Jamie.'
'Oh Aye, chocolate chip fur me please Doctor, thank you.'
At the door way the Doctor took  the Hiding Jamie by the Hand and shaking it said, 'I see there is a sadness in your eyes Jamie, you have witness unbearable sorrows and I hope in my hearts I'm not responsible for that...but I must say dear Jamie, that you are looking absolutely splendid in your Maturity, Have a Good Life, and make sure your Doctor keeps a grip on his humanity, even though he is an Alien. save him as you saved me.'
whispering Jamie croaked, 'There was never a day I regretted being at yoor're side Doctor, I'm glad I finally got to tell yoo, and it breaks my heart to leave again.'
'Well that can't be changed now can it, you see for me your still here and I need to get that milk on the boil,Goodbye Jamie,'
'Aye I'm starting to remembering this night and I slept like a baby after that warm drink.'
and Jamie vanished.

Back with his new Doctor Jamie enquired, ' So what are we ta do with that Yeti?

But the soothing tones of His Doctor interrupted him...'I'll take care of that Jamie and..' he said towards his future self,  'I'll take that bracelet of yours too,'

'What!! what do you mean take my bracelet? you don't trust me with a kids toy? how dare you even be here there are RULES! did you bring HIM?' The Doctor grumbled loudly, glaring at Jamie.
Jamie who was just as shocked just stood unable to speak.
'No Jamie wasn't aware I would follow him here....I made a mental note of your coordinates you see, and this Bracelet disturbs me and I do so hate being disturbed...has for Rules I've never had much regard for them.... I see them more as guidelines you could or should not follow, so let's not get all heated hmm? and to answer your question of trust, of course I trust you, but I built the first Sonic Screw Driver which I only used for the purpose it was made for, stubborn screws I could not manage with a real Screw Driver.'

'OH What Nonsense! you adapted the frequency to burn through mental, that's hardly the purpose you so grandly made it for! you hypocrite,  how dare you, you board my ship shouting the odds like your better them Me,' The Doctor said enraged at this intrusion.

Jamie knowing His Doctor would eventually win this argument,  just sat with Zoe at his lap and watched the fireworks.

'Yes... I did didn't I...oh that was a jolly jape, now give me your Bracelet and we''ll say our farewells.
'Who do you think you are you pompous old fool!' The Doctor gasped
laughing at this the other said 'oh this is fabulous, I don't think I've had so much Banter with a future self, as for Old I'm only 450 I'd hardly call that OLD... how old are you now?'

'Old enough to look after MYSELF thank you, I don't need YOU!'
'Oh I full heartily agree Dear chap, your a capable man I have no doubt, so hand over the Bracelet, it's for the best believe me.'
'FINE....FINE take it and be gone little man.' he shrilled at his Other.

'Now now, there's no need for such ingratitude, I will use this on our old friend The Yeti,' and he pulled the other bracelet Jamie handed him apart,  'here you may find another use for this power cube for Jamie's devise. it will be inactive as your Bracelet will destroy this, yours and The Yeti in deep space, that's three birds with one stone and rather splendid if I do say so myself... and I do say so.'

With both bracelets in his hands the Doctor backed away...'Your thinking I'll just make another aren't you?'
'Are YOU reading my mind now? stop that at once!' he growled, 'there are rules about THAT TOO!'

'No... your mind is quite safe, I just know how we think, and you have lost the power of hiding your being... Our Peers at Time Lords High Council never found me, because I locked them out... I know I will lose that ability when they force me to change.... in fact I came from  Galliyfrey where I await my fate at their hands, but I was tempted to use this?'s wrong,  I realise I can't keep running, it's time I faced my demons once and for all.'
The Other Doctor looked at him with disbelief.
'I made one that what you just realised? Well this is the thing, when I leave I will deny you this knowledge while I still have that power...Goodbye Jamie, what a lovely dogie... Goodbye Me. I'm glad we had this little chat.'
And he was gone

'Are you going to make another?' Jamie asked the wide eyed staring Doctor.

'Make What....spit it out man,' The Doctor said impatiently
Jamie looked amused, 'Make a Teleport bracelet thingy linked to The Tardis?'
The Doctor using his eyebrows to full effect raised them in astonishment, 'ARE YOU MENTAL? those things will mess with your molecules... I could leave an Orange and come Back a Potato.'
'I did nay understand any of that?' Jamie said looking worried.
'I'm using a Metaphor.' The Doctor informed Jamie

'What's a Metafurr?'
'I don't know Jamie what's it Metter for you?' he Laughed.


Thursday, 11 September 2014



Ah.... The early 60's saw many Innovations ,  The 1964/1965 New York World's Fair would be a place where the future was exposed to the public with all it's wonders... The Flying Car!! Wow it's coming was one such boast. 
This is a true story of life in the 60's as I remember it... But the words may have changed to enhance the reading experience, so strap in kiss your toes, as we use my  cerebral  time and space manipulation machine to take you back with me to a time of Black and White.

This is an exciting age, man is on the brink of space exploration... And the Moon is the goal for man to take a giant leap forward. 
But before all that we had toys to keep a child busy for hours, not only that! They were education too! So picture this as we   Approach the Early 60's 
As soon as we land you with notice the buzz of excitement coming from a crowd as they look for inspirational gifts for their children at Christmas in Woolworths. 

My Aunt Molly is front of the queue, because she wants the best for her growing family, and what she was about to be shown was the latest innovation for children of the new age. 
"So what is it exactly?" She asks the young salesman at his display stand... 
"What is it? I'll tell you what it is Madam it's the latest thing for a child's 
 Mental Development, Made! I might add in the latest high tensile plastics man can afford." 
"I wouldn't lie to you madam, I can see by your demeanour your a very shrewd lady, this I can assure you is it! Your going to Wow your young child, may I ask his or her name?"   
"It's Richard and Jackie." There is another child to come, but at this point and time Jane isn't even a twinkle in the eyes...And me being a scruffy kid have no idea of what I just said means. 
"Lovely names madam... Would I be right in thinking Richard is a Boy?" 
"Of Course he is." Molly replied with some bewilderment.
"I'm just checking ma'am you can never be to sure or take things for granted at this Exciting Age of Invention!!" 
Now intrigued Molly bends forward and enquires again. 
"Madam if you leave this store with this Wonderful gift, the joy and love in your young sons eyes at Christmas will be your just reward."  
"But you still haven't told me what it is?" 
"What it is?... What it is, is a Static Technological Interactive Cultural Knackish." 
"Oh excuse me madam I know it's a bit of a mouthful so we call it a Stick for short!" And with that he delicately places  the Static Technological Interactive Cultural Knackish, on the green felt covered table."
"But that's a Stick!!" Molly blurted out.
"Oh My Word, madam you learn fast! That's Exactly what it is!"
"But it's a Stick.... I mean just a stick." 
"Ah.. Now don't be fooled by it's familiar appearance madam, this isn't just a stick, made from the strongest polymers...You can bend it, slap it, throw it and it will always keep it's shape! ... Why just imagine young Richard running along next doors fence with this little technological beauty... It would sound like a machine gun..he will be the envy of the school yard, .That alone is hours of fun... Young Richard will never be ignored with one of these.... Because he can poke his friends to get their full attention!" 
"I'll have it." Said Molly knowing a bargain when she saw it, and she was looking at it right now. 
Just As we accept computer technology  today, we know all innovation, never stands still for long, and within weeks the next improvement is available.
My Mother June... Headed for The City, she sat on the No18 Bus blot upright and full of pride, as she gripped her handbag on her lap, excited by the  knowledge gained through her Sister-in-law that the latest Thing! Was a stick. And she, being a fair and loving mother intended to buy all three sons this marvellous technological breakthrough in children's educational toy development.    
As soon as the bus stopped at Southampton Central Bus Station, she was off and heading to Woolworths ready to bash anyone with her handbag if they got between her and the Sticks. 
"I'll have three of your finest sticks please." June demanded from the nearest stand...
"Oh God Bless you Madam I can see your a caring Mother so for a further half crown I can add the latest innovation to The Stick! ... It's a Planetary leviathan .... Oh but let's cut to the quick ... It's a Plate! 
"You want me to pay Seven and six for three plates? Are you Mental?" My mother said indignantly.
"It's the latest Thing Madam... A plate on a Stick... Soon you won't be able to buy them as we are selling out fast." 
"I see.... So what's so good about this latest addition then?" 
"It's full of mystery and magic your children have only seen On Television... They will learn through perseverance how to balance a plate on a stick... It's a spinning sensation."
So not wanting to be out done my Mother brought all three of her Sons a Plate on a Stick that Christmas. 

So now you know why Children Born in the 50's and Early 60's are always excited by Christmas.... Because after a you've experience a plate on a Stick, the whole of technology opens up to you.. 

In this story the boys of June are played by the real life characters of my Brother Steven, my Twin Michael and of course I play Paul the Gorgeous one.